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Stop Being Afraid and Put Your Toes in the Water

2013 February 21
"Feet" by Jesse Therrien

“What if we get someone with anger issues? What if I get attached and they have to go back to their parents? Our house isn’t set up right. The rooms are too small. There are so many things to do.”

Aside from her describing my house, these words coming out of my friend’s mouth can be summed up in one word: Fear!

In our conversations over the course of a year, there is no doubt my friend is being called to foster parenting.

She loves babies and toddlers. Coincidentally, there are often babies – sometimes newborns – who need loving parents to take care of them because their parent or parents can’t.

Two of the most recent e-mail blasts we’ve received from out agency concerned children that would be right up her alley.

"Feet" by Jesse Therrien

“Feet” by Jesse Therrien

One was a four day old infant. The agency needed to have a home lined up in time for the baby to be released from the hospital.

The other was a three year old who needed a place right away.

Typically the agency will have a short amount of time, driven by a court appearance, to name a foster family.

A contributing factor to her fear was a discouraging and perhaps jaded social worker who told her it was difficult to adopt out of foster care and if the reason she was getting into fostering children was to adopt she should give that up.

Apparently this person did not know what she was talking about.  The Adoption and Safe Families Act of 1997.

It is a reality that you don’t know what will happen. One of the things the social worker told my friend accurately was that a relative could step up and adopt them; this was something we had hanging over us with our boys; until, of course, we adopted them.

It is not, nor should it be, easy for the government to step in and take children permanently away from their parents. Thank God we don’t live in a country like that!

But, the bio parent will be required to do certain things by the court to clean up their act. Where is the kid supposed to go while this is happening?

And when the kid or kids become legally free for adoption, where will you be?

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