Skip to content

You’re Number….. Two?

2012 October 21

A repost from last year.  I was thinking of this one yesterday after spending a great day with my daughter. One of our kids is always trying to figure out who is best; whose eggs are better; which one of these two is stronger. But I can tell you it’s not bad being second best. Not at all.

“You will always be second best,” Roy told me. “A kid would rather be sitting in an empty apartment next to their drugged out parent than next to you on a couch in your house.”

Roy knows what he’s talking about; a foster parent for 38 years, he and his wife have seen and accepted it all. He’s one of the people I talked to early on in the process.

What Roy told me was sobering, but it made sense. Familial relationships are complex, but in a way very simple. We can pick our friends, but we can’t pick our families, and as bad as things can be that’s still their mom or dad out there.

Many of the stories we’d heard in class illustrated this point perfectly.

“Foam Finger” by Jeff Williamson

One of these case studies was about a little girl who I’ll call Amy. She had been to several homes until she found the right one: A loving home with other children and two foster parents who knew what they were doing.

Amy had been “a problem everywhere she went” but in this home she turned into an honor student. She kept this up into high school; blossoming into a very nice young lady.

Because of past problems, visitations with her mother had to be done at the agency office. Amy dresses up and travels more than an hour for these visits. Sometimes her mother shows up and upsets her. Other times, her mother doesn’t show up and when she’s called tells the social worker she’s busy and she will see Amy next time.

Still, when the next visit comes around, this young lady will get dressed up and travel the hour and a half to see her mother. That’s her family. For Amy, her mother is number one.

Being number two may not sound all that thrilling. After all, no one remembers who came in second.

Well, almost never. Neil Armstrong was the first man to step onto the moon. Buzz Aldrin was then second. I saw the moon landing on television while it was happening.

Aldrin might have been second. But hey, he made it to the moon!

Maybe being number two isn’t so bad after all.

No comments yet

Leave a Reply

Note: You can use basic XHTML in your comments. Your email address will never be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS